Greetings, friend! Karla here.
I’m writing to you from a stunning beach on the Baja Coast. Every morning, dolphins swim near the shore, and at night, we’ve been treated to the most spectacular bioluminescence in the water. I know I shouldn’t have played in it but…well, just watch the video above.
I played in the water, even though it can be harmful to humans. Doing something I wasn’t supposed to added a little extra sparkle of joy to my splashing. Fortunately, no extra ears have grown on me (yet).
This week, what’s a little something you’re not “supposed” to do that might add a little sparkle of joy? Go do it 😊.
In this issue: Why thinking about “success” makes us uncomfortable and how you can redefine what it means to you. Also, a gift for you and a few quick joyful pick-me-ups.
Why you’re getting this: I'm Karla Parra and this is The Joyful Career newsletter. I love sending it every Monday to YOU, amazing human, you. My hope is that it makes you think better, feel better, and do better so you can live a more joyful life! Thank you for letting this email live in your inbox. It makes my heart explode with JOY!
“The word ‘success’ makes me uncomfortable”
This week, two of my clients told me that they don’t like the word “success”. “It has a lot of baggage”, one said.
“Success” used to make me uncomfortable too.
So what did I do?
I launched a podcast called “Successful” with my friend Natalie to tackle this word head-on. This name is a tongue-in-cheek way of challenging what success means.
This week’s coaching question is:
What does “success “ mean to you?
Since last March, we’ve interviewed 20 women who are redefining and pursuing success in a way that brings them joy, not anxiety.
According to some of these women, “success” holds “baggage” because:
Society tells us that “success” is about things we can’t often control: money, promotions, and other people’s approval (follows, likes, praise).
When we think of “success”, we can’t help but compare ourselves to other women and often feel like we fall short.
We feel like we need to “keep up”, so we make someone else’s goal our goal when that goal may not be ours.
We keep chasing “success” goals, and it’s never enough.
How does the word “success” make YOU feel?
Does “success” motivate you, or does it leave you feeling…icky?
It’s OK if you’d rather use another word…
One client preferred to explore her definition of “fulfillment” with me and I love that.
“Success” is just a word. Whatever you call it, it’s important that we aspire to something. Looking to the future helps optimize our brains!
When you look towards your future, whether it’s “success” or “fulfillment” just make sure you do this one thing:
Redefine your definition.
I say “re-define” because chances are, you’ve been carrying around an old definition or someone else’s definition that won’t serve you now.
What success means to ME
This year, instead of setting goals, I set a vision, clarified my values, and redefined “success” for myself.
My definition today isn’t what it was a year ago.
My definition today isn’t what it was when I had a different job.
We evolve. Our definition of “success” should evolve with us.
My current definition of success is:
Feeling present, joyful, and energized for ME, THE PEOPLE I LOVE, and THE WOMEN I SERVE, giving INSANE VALUE and being PAID FAIRLY for my gifts.
This definition guides every day of my life: who I am being, how I’m spending my time, and with whom.
Knowing my definition helps me ask some key questions before I say “yes” to a new opportunity or activity:
Does spending time on this help me feel present, joyful, or energized?
Does this help me connect with the people I love or the women I serve?
Does this help me give insane value?
Does this help me get paid fairly?
If my answers are “no”, then I say “no”.
How you can define what “success” means to you
My last few articles have been building up to this exercise.
Figure out what really matters to you (this article will help you do that).
Identify your values (this article will help you do that).
Play with a few definitions. Pick one and pressure-test it:
How does this definition honor your values?
How much is this definition feeling like a “should” versus a “want”?
How much does this definition reflect what YOU want, versus what someone else thinks you should be doing?
When you land on a definition that reflects what YOU want and your values, write it down and hang it somewhere visible.
Last fall, one of our podcast listeners, Rosa, went back to work after maternity leave.
Being away from work gave her perspective and clarified what “success” really meant to her. She wrote down this definition and put it up visibly by her desk so that when things felt stressful at work, she could ground herself back to her definition of success, not someone else’s.
Try it out and let me know what your definition is!
When you redefine “success”, pursuing “success” can be joyful.
P.S. Listen to Successful: The Podcast! My friend and co-host Natalie Burk and I have roots in high-stress management consulting jobs.
Over one 4-hour lunch, we realized how much we yearned to feel different about “success”. We knew other women probably hated the pressure too so we launched the podcast! Every week, we tell stories (our own and of other women) about redefining success so it feels joyful.
Season 3 is coming in February!
A Gift: Dream and explore with me!
Let’s spend an hour together dreaming and exploring what THE most joyful life looks like for you.
I’m not talking about a “nice” life. I’m talking about a life you f&$%ing 100% ADORE. Then, let’s examine the roadblocks (they might not be what you think). We’ll end with some concrete action items.
You will journal and I will coach you.
I’m gifting this free hour because I want to and because 10 years ago, I really could have used that one hour in my life.
Learn more here and book your time down there 👇.
Some quick joyful pick-me-ups
This week:
Find a little ritual that tells your brain it’s time to RELAX. I made a reel all about mine in my new Insta account (@thejoyfulcareercoach).
Just ask. One of my favorite authors, Allison Pataki, said yes to joining our podcast in March. I was scared to ask (cause she’s so cool) but she said yes! Want something? Just ask. You might get a “yes”!
Do something that you’re not “supposed to” and love every minute of it (like me playing in bioluminescence).
What does "success" mean to you?