Hello, friend! It’s me, Karla. I’m writing to you from an oasis in the desert. We’re in a historic mission town in the middle of the southern half of the Baja California peninsula in Mexico. I love it here!
The guy in the photo with me is Efraín, our campground host. Every morning, he makes us coffee. Then, he spends his day welcoming new arrivals and doing chores, like watering the plants. He works every day of the week (including weekends) but it doesn’t bother him. “Yo vivo bien aquí,” he says. “I live well here.”
At first, I felt sad that Efraín works so much. But the more I interacted with him, the more I realized that he’s unfazed by his work hours because who he is and what he does aren’t all that different.
This week’s coaching question is:
DOES YOUR “WHO” MATCH YOUR “WHAT”?
Let’s unpack this question.
One of the main components of your “who” is made up of the principles you live by, or your values.
Efraín strikes me as someone who values:
Family, because he can talk for hours about his daughters
Compassion, because he’s adopted the sweetest mother-son stray dog pair, Güero and Canela (they’re the real hosts of this campground!)
Community, because he loves inviting people to enjoy a morning coffee with him
Nature, because he takes great pride in caring for the orange and date trees that abound in this place
Service, because he’s always ensuring the comfort of his guests
Family, compassion, community, nature, and service seem to be some values that have shaped not only who Efraín is, but also what he does in his work. His hours may not seem ideal, but he’s at peace because he gets to be “who” he is in “what” he does.
Life is easier when your “who” and your “what match
Several years ago, back when the Monday blues crushed my joy, I knew I needed a change. I had an amazing job and apartment, but I felt drained and unfulfilled.
In my coach training, I learned that adventure and freedom were among my top three values, yet every week felt the same and I felt stuck.
When you know your values, you can start making decisions with intention so what is outside of you matches what’s within you.
Knowing my values changed my life by giving me a compass to shape a life of adventure and freedom, step by step.
At first, “adventure” looked like a weekend camping trip in a tent at the local state park. Then, my husband and I converted the back of an old 4Runner into a bed so we could camp for longer and farther away. Eventually, we sold everything and moved into a camper to travel full-time.
At first, “freedom” looked like changing projects at work to one that didn’t have a 2-hour commute. Then, I moved to a different role at my company that would let me work wherever. Later it became a job resignation and business launch so I could work where I want, when I want, and on what I want.
Adventure happens nearly every day now and I feel free. Monday blues are a thing of the past. Matching my values (my “who”) to “what” I regularly do makes life easier.
Build your values compass
Most of us know what we value, but do you really know your top 3 values? Aligning your “who” with your “what” starts by knowing your top values.
Here are a few simple steps you can take to build your values compass:
Review a values list like this one and ask yourself the questions below. The questions will help you narrow down the values that matter to you to perhaps a list of 5-10 values.
Which values were present in my life when life felt amazing?
Which of these values is missing when I feel frustrated or “off”?
Now, rank your values (#1 being the most important one) by asking yourself the questions below. Aim to narrow your list to 3-5.
Which of these values must be present in my life for me to feel complete?
Which values would really bother me if I didn’t have them?
Go make joy happen
Recently, I asked one of my clients to share what she’s learned about herself through our work together. She shared, “Shaping a life that honors my values, I am finding, is what makes me the happiest!”
You, too, can shape a life that makes you the happiest, but knowing your values isn’t enough. To make joy happen, you must look at how you’re spending your time.
From 1-10 (with 10 being “always”), how much do your values match with how you spend your time in the following areas?
Your work
The way you live
Your relationships
Your habits
Anything less than an “8” is worth exploring.
Consider:
What tiny changes can you make this week to match what you do with what you value?
What’s a big change on the horizon that will narrow the gap between your “who” and your “what”?
When you know your values, you can start making decisions with intention so what is outside of you matches what’s within you.
I’ll be back next week to talk about something we’re all after: success.
P.S. Life is too short for the Sunday “scaries” and Monday blues. I can help you build a life and career that gives you lots of joy (even on Mondays). Learn how I can help you here and let’s talk to see if we’re a good fit for each other!
Some quick joyful pick-me-ups
This week:
Start one day with “morning pages”
Jot down random things you’re grateful for on sticky notes and paste them around your work space (mine are on my desktop)
Track your mood throughout the day (my coach has me doing that and I’m learning a lot about my bad mood triggers)
Write down your wins of the year so far (you’ve accomplished more than you realize!)