Greetings, friends! Today, I’m writing from a truck stop in nowhere, Texas.
We slept here last night after an epic 13-hour drive from the California-Mexico border, amid rumbling tractor-trailers and nearby trains. Our Baja adventure is over and I’m feeling nostalgic.
On our last night in Mexico, before crossing the border, we were treated to a beautiful view as we sat on the bank of the Colorado river. “Take me back!” keeps running through my mind, as the distance widens between my beloved Mexico, the country where I was born and raised, and me.
In this issue: The pros and cons of feeling nostalgia in our lives and careers and the importance of finding the gifts right now. Also, an invitation to join my next Open Hour for anyone who has recently been laid off.
Nostalgia is complicated
Yesterday, as we sped through expansive Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas highways, I gloomily observed around me:
Vast swaths of empty land
A lack of oceans, rivers, and lakes
Exorbitant prices at gas stations and rest stops
A border wall full of political turmoil and divisiveness
I yearned for what we had in Mexico - changing landscapes, stunning ocean views, cheap living, warm hospitality, and a sense of community.
Before I got too deep into my blues, Noah, my husband, snapped me back to reality:
“Look at those beautiful Arizona desert blooms!”
“Look at those fascinating rock formations off this New Mexico highway.”
“I can’t wait for some Texas barbecue!”
My spirits lifted, snapping me out of my nostalgia for the past into appreciating what was in front of me in the United States.
Nostalgia is a complicated emotion: on the one hand, it provides much comfort and appreciation for what we used to have. On the other hand, it can prevent us from fully experiencing the gifts of the present moment.
This week’s coaching question is:
How is nostalgia about the past blurring the gifts in your present circumstance?
I have an interesting memory of a conversation between my parents.
My dad had left a rewarding but highly stressful leadership position in Mexico’s port industry. One day, he was reminiscing about the wonderful aspects of his career, wishing he was again, walking among the shipping containers and gargantuan freighters.
My mom quickly snapped him out of his reverie, reminding him of the sleepless nights, difficult bosses, and unrealistic job expectations that drew him away from our family.
This conversation stuck with me as I realized how easy it is to romanticize a past career, perhaps even wishing it was still our present.
Sometimes I do this myself: I’ll think back to my years as a management consultant, the money I made, and the people I worked with, wondering if perhaps I made a mistake by leaving.
“By now, I’d be a Managing Director, probably raking in millions of dollars,” I’ll think.
Then, I look around me and take in my freedom of time, travel, and inner peace, worth more than millions to me.
I am exactly where I need to be right now.
You are also exactly where you need to be too.
The pros and cons of nostalgia
Like all emotions, nostalgia can serve us or hurt us, depending on how we experience it. A few days ago, Noah was telling a friend of ours about the trips I got to take in my consulting career to places like Switzerland, Hawaii, and Spain.
My chest swelled up with pride as I realized that I had created those opportunities through hard work and building trust with the clients who paid for those trips. Nostalgia for those days of company-funded, glamorous travel reminded me of my gifts.
Nostalgia for careers past can support us by reminding us:
To be proud of what we created by using our gifts and strengths
To appreciate the relationships that enriched our lives
How resilient we can be in challenging times
How we’ve reinvented ourselves over time
How our thinking and behaviors have matured
On the flip side, nostalgia can hurt us by having us:
Believe that it will never be as good as it used to be
Attribute what made the past “good” to our external circumstances (instead of ourselves)
Romanticize the past, leading us to forget why making a change was needed in the first place
Ignore the many gifts we have in the present moment
The biggest downside of nostalgia is that it can keep us attached to the past, having us forget the many gifts we have right now.
What is available to you right now?
As you think about what you’re hoping to achieve in the future, how is your present circumstance a necessary component to get there?
Over the last few weeks, I’ve been holding “Open Hours” for people who have been recently laid off (I’m holding another one this Wednesday). I always ask a critical question towards the end:
How is getting laid off offering you a gift at this moment in your life?
You see, nostalgia for what was - especially if that past included a sense of comfort and safety - can obscure the gifts in our present life. Gifts like:
Getting to be an ever-changing human being
An opportunity for reinvention
Rest
Time
Time tends to be the most common “gift” that people identify in my Open Hour sessions. The present moment is the only time we actually have at our disposal.
The present moment offers us time to:
Create
Explore
Learn
Experiment
Take action
Be with loved ones
Just be
If you find yourself romanticizing a career that once was, know that nostalgia can be a wonderful emotion, if we use it as a reminder of all our past gifts.
Be wary, however, of getting so lost in nostalgia, that you forget to appreciate the gifts you have right now too.
Notice how your present is fueling new beginnings every day.
Notice what you’re learning today.
Notice how you’re growing in this moment.
Notice how your present circumstance is the ideal stepping stone toward the amazing future that awaits.
Even if your present circumstance is sitting at a truck stop in the middle of nowhere, Texas :).
P.S. I’m hosting another (free) “Open Hour” to Share & Listen - one hour when anyone who has recently been laid off can join to process what they’re experiencing and feel connected with others going through a similar situation. As a transitions coach, I will ask a few questions to help you reflect and share.
You can register for this hour via the button below.
If you know of someone who could benefit from this time and space, please share this article with them too!
Hi Karla! I attended your mini workshop that you hosted today with Accenture and really enjoyed it. I'd like to share your information but the link to the site did not work.
https://www.vidacanvas.com/ (did not work)
https://thejoyfulcareer.substack.com/p/nostalgia-distracting-us-from-now (worked)
Thank you!
Beth McKim