The worst guitar player in the room
Why you're in the RIGHT room when you're the WORST one there.
Hello, joyful community! Have you ever heard the saying, “If you’re the best in the room, you’re in the wrong room"?
Well, I was recently the worst guitar player in a room full of master guitar players, including the lead guitarist of my favorite band.
I was mortified.
Being the worst player in the room was also one of the best guitar-playing experiences of my life.
Here’s what happened:
Noah (my husband) and I went away to a music summer camp hosted by the members of one of our favorite bands, Donna the Buffalo.
Each day, we picked our classes, including harmonization, Zydeco, and Texas two-step. As a budding mandolin (Noah) and guitar player (me), we jammed with a Honky Tonk band, strummed alongside Irish tune fiddlers, and practiced Old Time guitar. I felt like a kid at camp, guitar strapped on my back each morning, excited to learn and play!
One morning, I showed up at an advanced guitar class with Jeb Puryear, one of the lead musicians of Donna the Buffalo. I was nervous: how often do you get to take a class from someone you really admire?
“Can beginners take this class too?”, I timidly asked Jeb. He smiled, inviting me to take a seat in the circle of chairs around him. I rested my red guitar on my lap and smiled at the kid across from me, secretly hoping he was a beginner too.
The class began and I quickly lost my way. Jeb immersed us in a sea of theory and demonstrations that exceeded my rudimentary grasp of basic guitar chords.
“Try this,” Jeb would say, demonstrating finger-picking techniques I dream of mastering. Other students would confidently follow his cue, while I quietly pretended to play, hiding my inadequacy as best I could.
“We’ll now play as a group”, Jeb announced. He demonstrated a simple chord progression for us all to match and play in unison. I could do that!
My heartbeat slowed as I proudly showed Jeb that my beautiful red guitar wasn’t just a showpiece. “See? I can play,” my smile conveyed.
My sense of pride was short-lived, however. Jeb pointed to the kid next to him (the one I’d hoped was also a beginner), instructing him to break away from the group’s beat and improvise a guitar solo on the spot.
The kid was good. No older than 17, you’d think he’d been playing for years with the likes of Jeb and Jimi (Hendrix).
I wasn’t prepared for what came next.
“Now each of you will take turns improvising your own guitar solo, just like he did,” Jeb said.
Absolutely not, I thought. My heart rate accelerated as my hands began to sweat. “Not me”, I signaled to Jeb. I’m a beginner!
“You too, Karla,” Jeb countered. “Go for it, even if you just pick one string.” He was serious. Yikes.
Each student took a turn, gradually reaching me. I begged the universe to speed up time so the class would end before Jeb cued my turn.
“Now you”, Jeb looked at me.
Ugh.
“Ugh” is the best way I can describe what it was like to improvise a finger-picking guitar solo for Jeb Puryear and his class of rising stars.
I was bad. Really bad.
I plucked one string, and then the next one above it, then the one below. No rhyme or reason to my solo, except that I wanted it to be over.
My thirty-second solo felt like the longest thirty seconds of the day.
“Good!” Jeb smiled at me as I concluded, mercifully moving on to my neighbor. I sighed with relief, embarrassed and oddly exhilarated.
I was the worst player in the room, but I’d just played with Jeb!
My guitar skills didn’t dramatically improve with Jeb’s teachings. In fact, I left class more confused than I was before.
Despite my confusion, I now know that this would become one of the most important classes I took during the three days of camp.
I was definitely the worst player in the room. I was also in the right room, learning some life lessons that will serve me forever.
I learned that when you’re the worst one in the room, you’re in the right room because:
It’s exhilarating to be among the best! While your ego may like to be the best in the room, the vision for your own potential is limited. When you’re among the best as one of the worst, your vision for growth becomes scarily exciting - there’s so much room for you to grow into!
Your ego receives an exercise in humility. Being the worst at something reminds you that you’re not as good as you think you are - and that’s a great thing. This realization keeps you on your toes and returns you to a humble and curious beginner’s mindset.
You’re pushed beyond your self-prescribed limits. Would I have voluntarily played a guitar solo in front of Jeb had I not taken this class? Absolutely not. But, at Jeb’s insistence, I did it and the world did not end. No one laughed. I survived unscathed! What might be possible if we all did things that made us feel vulnerable and embarrassed more often?
You become “experimental”: When it was time for me to play my solo, I could no longer hide among the louder guitars around me. Others would find out I was clueless. So, instead of pretending to be great, I embraced my opportunity to experiment. I plucked one string here, another there. My solo performance almost became…dare I say…fun!
You learn that others want to help you. Jeb’s “Good” comment after my solo meant the world to me. I realized that he was on my side, encouraging me to take a chance on myself. He believed in me so I could believe in myself too.
You’re actually pretty bada$$: Most people shy away from being bad at something among those that are great because it’s uncomfortable. But when you put yourself out there to do something you care about, even if you’re not great at it, you’re honoring your sense of self and authenticity. How many people can say that they did what you did? High five, you!
There’s one direction to go in: UP! When you’re already the worst in a room full of the best, you’ve reached rock bottom. From the bottom, there’s only one way to go and that is up. So keep going, keep practicing, and keep learning!
I’ll be honest: I’m not used to being the worst at something in a room. I’m not always the best, but I can usually at least be OK. This time, I was truly the worst. It was an exercise in humility, mental strength, and more importantly, growth.
How would YOU grow if you allowed yourself to be the worst in the room?
What might you learn about yourself and others?
What barriers might you shatter?
What inner strengths would you develop?
May we all be the worst at something today!
P.S. We all need a “Jeb” in our lives. Work with me:
1:1 coaching: As your coach, I will challenge your self-prescribed limits and encourage you to experiment. I will also remind you that you’re pretty bada$$, even when you don’t believe it. Let’s start with a 20-minute call.
Company workshops and speaking: I offer company workshops and conference keynotes on topics related to confidence, team building, equity and inclusion, and negotiation. My latest series is all about navigating change with more joy. I’ve worked with companies like Accenture, Ecolab, HEI Hotels & Resorts, the University of Minnesota, and others. Get in touch to explore how I can help your team.
Being bad at something is the first step toward being good at it. The real trick for us as adults is not to quit. Just imagine if babies were to stop trying to walk or talk... because they're bad at it. That's laughable, but I'm sure most of us struggle to have that level of determination and/or lack of worry about our "performance."