Hello from La Paz, the capital city of Baja California Sur, Mexico. I’ve been teaching yoga and hanging out at a beach festival with 800+ “van lifers”, people who live and travel in vans or other small vehicles. What a memorable few days!
The people at this festival are some of the boldest I’ve met:
The event organizer rallied almost 1,000 people from all over the world to join him on a beach near the south-most tip of Baja.
A “circus” family gave an incredible performance as part of their world tour, spreading smiles through magic shows and clown acts (they were cool!).
One woman arrived in a small camper with her two twin daughters sans husband. Not because she’s single, but because camping is her dream, not his.
These people are bold. They’re living their dreams, not because they’re fearless (being without fear is a myth), but because of this one thing: commitment.
In this issue: I explore commitment as the simple (but not always easy) key to success (however you define it). Dabbling keeps us “safe” but delays our dreams.
Dabbling vs. Committing
Commitment is scary. As long as we don’t commit, we “dabble”. Dabbling allows us to experience the fun parts of our goals with less pain.
Last year, I dabbled plenty:
I attempted to write my first fiction book
I tried out a new weight-lifting routine
I went on some challenging hikes
When we dabble, our actions are tentative. We “attempt”, we “try”, and we do “some” things.
Dabbling feels safe because, after all, you’re just “trying it out”.
Dabbling keeps us from feeling the pain of failure because it’s not like you were committed.
But here’s the thing:
Dabbling is just fine if you’re ok with “just fine” results.
Truth be told, I’m OK with not writing my book (yet). I’m OK with not being able to lift more than 10-lb weights. I’m OK with not hiking the same 14,000-ft mountains as my husband.
In some areas of life, I’m OK with dabbling.
Coaching question of the week:
Where do you need to stop dabbling and start committing?
A year ago, a friend asked me how much money I wanted to make in my business.
Her question irritated me: “Coaching isn’t just about making money, you know. I want to help people,” I responded.
I got defensive.
In time, I realized that what was really bothering me was that I was ready to stop dabbling in my coaching business.
I no longer wanted “just fine” results.
I wanted to grow, to serve more people, and yes, to make more money.
I just hadn’t made my business important enough to commit.
Nothing important happens without commitment
If you were to look back at the end of your life, on a scale of 1-10, how important would it be for you to have achieved your dream?
I love this question because it forces you to tune out the goals that don’t really matter.
It also brings into focus where you’re OK with dabbling instead of committing.
Dabbling isn’t a problem as long as you’re choosing to dabble.
Dabbling becomes a problem when you’re bothered by your lack of results.
My friend’s question about money helped me realize that I didn’t want mediocre results in my business.
At the end of my life, I would want to look back and know I gave my own business, not as much, but more, attention and love than I ever did my corporate job.
My business deserves a “10”.
At the end of my life, I would want to look back and know that I didn’t dabble. I committed.
Three steps to commit
To achieve big things, you need to hone in on the dream or goal that is worthy of a “10”. Then, commit. Go all in.
Of course, committing is harder than it sounds. In fact, it’s downright scary.
Scary is good!
After all, you’re going after a goal that you’ve scored as “10” in its level of importance. If it wasn’t important, you wouldn’t care about failing.
A scary goal is a good goal - it means it matters.
Here are three steps you can try out to practice “commitment” in the face of fear.
Imagine that it’s already done. Vividly visualize how you feel, what you see, and what results you’ve obtained as if your dream had already happened. Write it down in the present tense so you can believe the goal.
Break up the goal into chunks. Oftentimes, our fear of committing comes from feeling overwhelmed. Writing a book is daunting, but writing one page this week feels totally doable, right? If the big goal feels too scary to commit to, commit to the smaller chunk instead.
If you’re afraid of committing (but want to commit), imagine the worst-case scenario. Which is worse: to fail in trying something out or to never have committed to begin with?
What dream or goal feels worthy of your commitment?
Remember: Nothing truly important happens without commitment.
P.S. Need some help committing to your dream? I help my clients build “mental fitness” to ensure that fear doesn’t derail their goals. I can help you too. Click here to learn more and book a time for us to chat.